Many parents do not think puberty is the best time, just to say it softly?? You ask yourself “where is my nice, kind, social child?” Do not worry, it is still there. Your child has only entered a different phase. A phase where everything is in doubt, your child seeks his own way, forms his own opinion. And yes, that can sometimes be incomprehensible, even for the adolescent himself. He sometimes does not understand anything about himself either. Seven tips to make this phase easier and more enjoyable.
Have an understanding and keep the trust
As said, the adolescent sometimes does not understand himself. The burden of mood swings, one time very confident, the other times totally insecure and lost. Remember your own puberty. Maybe you also had a hard time with yourself? Keep your child confident. An adolescent experiment and find out who he or she is or wants to be. A certain form of selfishness is part of this, not a shock. Will be good again, I know from experience now
Do not make unilateral ‘appointments’ anymore
You can also make better agreements with younger children than to impose them. But imposed rules and agreements do not work at all in adolescents. Give your child space and input. When it comes to ‘coming home late’, for example, clearly explain your care. I think it’s important that you are rested, I think it’s important that you come home safely. And also pay attention to the need or care of your child: want to belong to it, do not want to go home earlier or do not want to be picked up. Make an appointment that does justice to your needs.
Let go, be curious and enjoy
Yes, your child is going his own way. Going to be who he or she is or wants to be. Forms his identity. Give it that space, your child is entitled to it. And of course, there are sometimes behaviors that you do not like. But be curious rather than afraid or disapproving. What moves your child? Why does she find something beautiful or interesting? If you are able to listen openly, you can have very interesting conversations with an adolescent. Enjoy the fact that you can witness the development from child to adult.
Support your child in puberty stages
Even though your son or daughter is sometimes so tough, your child sometimes needs you (and I do not mean just being taken somewhere …). Want to remain assured of your love and support. If you open up to your child, the odds are much better than he asks for your help or opinion when he is struggling with something. Let us know that you are always available, but do not force your help.
Find the balance between commitment and restraint
Your child also needs his own life, peace, and privacy. Pay close attention to the signals your child gives. If you look carefully and listen, you know when you are welcome and when you are too much or you have to shut up. If you have a need to contact yourself, start with an I message, indicating what you would like to discuss and why.
Take responsibility for your own emotions
If you are irritated or otherwise affected by the behavior of your adolescent, consult yourself. Why does this affect me? What am I sensitive to? What opinion or belief do I have about my child or how he should be? And is this correct, or does this make my own problem? Do not put your irritation in any case uncensored with your child, because that is the best recipe for problems. After all, adolescents are often not very tolerant…
Last but not least: learn to put things into perspective. Perhaps you have already discovered it: what one day is a big problem, the next day is dismissed as a trifle. It is precisely because of this imbalance in emotional terms that an adolescent can sometimes exaggerate too much. Do not play down to your child, at that moment it is a big thing, but it helps to think for yourself, that it often does not go that fast. And also remarks towards you are sometimes a little bit off-putting. Of course, you can say something about that, but do not put salt on every snail. Humor also works wonders, adolescents like it when you do not do too ‘seriously’??